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Sunday, September 17, 2006

I had, pathetically hiatused myself for a few hourly days. 1,2, 3 is coming. Soon and arriving with despondency that falls so well. I got to face the music, that music which sings me to sleep and tearful eyes. I can't stand it and could hold on no longer. I know, Ivan, jinx and whoever, sorry. Sorry for not being Hawwei. For running from reality, for utmost defiance as you guys know I'll never love not going home. But what's my home ? Where's my home ? Where harsh penalties comes such in terminating all the favourite mediums of communicating? I don't love it. I don't feel it.


I'm not myself and I certainly need a cutoff, off the world , off the Her. My God. How many times had thy prayed for a life I need and cherish? But you relentlessly dumped me in only reminisce, relish and what? Cries.



God, give me the strength to face the harsh music. A month is soon to come, I'm still not over you. God, tell me what is love ? Is love supposed to be blissful and latter on hurtful? Is love supposed to let me know all I've done is not enough? Is love supposed to last so long and then stopped with a halt of hard-heartedness?







You, enough shedding that crocodile tears? Enough of saying you jolly well fcuking understand me ? 5 holy years, you mentioned and know me well enough inside out. Inside out and you let your DEAR hurled vulgarities at girls ? My god, this kind of guy you want? And what's with that call from him talking to me ? He don't even know where he stands to be fit to talk to me. Unreasonably rowdy. Thank you, you've found him back. Welcome, I know what kind of person is him now. I don't care whether you are my friend once or not, always I regard you as one, breaking this friendship , ask him, comes from him not me. I don't know why but anger just comes into me do you know that? I wish that I had that fcuking heart to label you some names you never imagine broad. Fcuk it, you are pissing me off. Him as well. Educate him before you allow his call into mine. Educate him to become more civilised first will you? That night was so full of self-despise, why on earth would I talk to him ? Get a life can't you ? What benefits you received from telling the FCUKNIG BIG world of the commotion/conflict at Regina's blog ? Why not mention how big is your eyes shit that clouds your sight every morning you wake up? How many hair you have and all? Blog, blog properly. If you cant do that, don't read others' blog.






























Still,love.



Since you left me dead laid here ;
[4:36 PM]