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Thursday, October 05, 2006

Come with me. Gather here on this day. Hold my hand, I'm showing you my colours. Afraid, of taking off my mask.



Sigh. Sometimes, its really never a manifest to reveal one's true colours to strangers made friends isn't it ? You indugled in vulgarities and wine, cigarettes and drugs, you dare going against the bidding, but you never ever find the sufficient courage to admit for what you've been doing in discreet for a long time. Sometimes, it's even worse the pain times than getting hurt seeing yourself in a dilemma. You thwirl and swhirl and whirl, aches from the head sets in, you cornered yourself and suddenly realized that you're actually in a pool of tears drooled down unknowingly. Why is Man made to tolerate the utmost pain in terms of the physical means but made to suffer the most from the pricks and piercings of the innermost feelings of the same species?



See, finally, after a month of burying myself in immense hardwork, I managed to delay any more and pull that picture down my blog. However, my heart wrenches when thy realise how this picture came about at my blog, and how it gets removed. It's a situation where i'm telling my readers, "hey, I've forgotten about Regina, " but when I'm a solitude subject I kept thinking, "really ?" Haha, I'm kinda pleased for being so strong also. Lalalala~

I'm contradicting very much. Very very much. This is all the distance walked, so sadly ending up in an instant. She left, telling me she glorifies freedom. If freedom was meant to be in a relationship, why not she never fall for me before? When our hands held that day, there wasn't any blessing. I always thought and would really loved to shower you with what I can. But that day, I retracted my hand. Why wasn't our hands in unison? In this blink of eye, I realised what I've been doing is just like a wish for snow in Singapore. Because she never realized reasons behind I've been trying very hard for her to comphrehend. And how fair is it, to term my love and concern for you 'irritation'?



Upon remembering all these words, I hate her. Really very much. When I think back of all those times, I wondered if I were blessed or everything was just a disguise? In my dreams these days , I dream of her, only of the impossible fact of being together again. Hah, what tricks can a human brain play on us.


This period of down feeling time I've been through, everything was out of the reach. I hoped to reclaim the love I've lost from people and friends , but it was so minor even to be felt. I tried to recollect myself, now I'm few stones' throws from it.



I.......



Since you left me dead laid here ;
[11:51 PM]