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Thursday, September 28, 2006

I've never stopped asking what can I give you the next moment. But within those thoughts were actually talks which made you cried. The face wet with your tears was the one which I never wished to see. All the times I made you cried, were nonsense. We were never in a drama, that's why you won't realise actually how blissful we were. When going back home, was all those disturbs about having millipedes just right in front of your step and those sent you to jumps of fright immediately. Should a slow piece of touching sentimental be with us throughout this period of time, we would have loved casting everything and everyone out of our scene.


I always wonder, whether am I the male lead in this, or the weaker sex as the female one. When you beckoned a place to go, I never had the right to suggest another. When I pointed to a spot to sit , you chose a nearby one. Have I done not enough for the power to decide and you follow ? I've never accquired this saddening answer. That chilly night when I was feverish, so needed of you to talk to me but yet asked me to sleep and rest. But why ? Why did things turned out to be you talking to a friend you claimed to know so long and out of the sudden being on such good terms with behind my back ? From the day you went to see doctor with Aliff and not informing me in the first place, I placed myself in terror. From the moment I saw your hand on his lap in a photo, I kept mum about it. From the picture where you clinged onto him, my heart broke. And from the day you talked to Norman, I know, you've changed.

For you, whenever I did not forgive you ? When have I not learn to forget all those hurtings you've caused ? For good and for God, you've changed so much. I bitterly saved and scrimped just to buy you necklaces and rings, but you remained thinking that I have all the money to spend. I wanted to give a rose to you, you complained of unnecessary expenditure. Months down the road, you said I've never given you a rose. You said and claimed you love me, no matter what shan't you'd leave. What's this now ? You said I'm sensitive? When you hid behind me having such out of the ordinary terms with a guy who was never introduced to me ? Thank God, how fair and kind have you been to me.


I've sorted my thoughts. I stand by that where I'm right and you're wrong. Only that you never had the courage to admit your wrongdoings. I won't kneel down like a stupid fcuk, I won't tear like as if water is free in Singapore. Now, I'm wishing you a happy life down the road. Till then we meet, you know how much you've changed, I know how much I've changed. If you were to learn to be a good girlfriend, learn it from Melody's blog. Her declaration of love towards her boy makes me feel so inferior like ever. I'm giving up on you. Behave yourself. Take care , and have fun with your friends who are deemed important than me long ago. Send my greetings to your parents on my behalf. If you haven thrown away the photos I gave you, shall you return? I loved those moment, but I've sold off my phone and there's no way for me to reminisce on them anymore. Thank you for the things you've done for me.




I love you, my friend.



Since you left me dead laid here ;
[1:39 PM]