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Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Everyone should have known, I'm still on the path of recollecting myself, pulling myself strong and tough. This way of life includes heavily-footed drags and puffy eyebags. I always thought technology is the only thing left to puzzle me, to dazzle me with its wonder and unique way of working.



But no, love is an addition.



The way love manages to end in an instant blink of the naked eye, shunning and brushing past every single memories out of the harsh consideration unsatisfy me. To a extend where I will take and use everything, and anesthetic to temporarily numb my innermost heartfelts. There I'd go, brainwash of everything exchanged between the two of us, not remembering anything we did, happily, or even times when we squabble and my utmost failure of curbing my incurring wrath like always. When I'm left alone at a corner, and if happens one just play a song with piano notes in it, I start crying.; in my heart. It wrenches and sqeezes into me as a piercing feel, a feeling of sadness to lose, a feeling of hatred to lost.


Even when I'm too overtaxed to sleep, a gush of adrenaline bringing the thoughts of her comes forward and reaching me when I'm on bed. If life were to be so cruel, make me grow up. Make me immune to what's called kinship, feelings and love. Grow me to bellieve nothing and no one in this world is worth my effort to fork out for. Make me believe the morales of Man isn't love but money.


But sorry, I don't. I don't know where I'm going after my O's. Passing my prelims would be a surprise, in fact a pleasant one. Haha, but i failed. Flunk and drained. I don't know where is my home now. Fcuk this cruelty.



Since you left me dead laid here ;
[12:35 PM]