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Thursday, November 09, 2006

I need a breathe. Tam, give me some time to tell you. Don't force me to say " tell you tonight" this time round. Let me try breaking it to my boys first. Lol. I'm still not turning in as I got heavily affected by some fcuked up shits out there. Fcuk and fcuk and more FCUK! Oops, btw, can I hurl vulgarities in this post?* grins.


*readers : yes you may Mr Tan, you never managed not to scold them. =)*



Oh thank you for granting me that license. FCUK LAH!!!! What the fcuk was that for? For being a facade for the attitude you showed me before? For the unreasonable you surfaced for a moment of time? Why not tell your readers how the fcuk you woke me up at my house? WA I'M FCUKING PISSED CAN?! What masks you wear and what words have you typed? Any sense in them please?!



I seriously, seriously used to think I'm still longing for you. Even when songs often heard by us in the past are being played, I cant hold back my tears. If I could, that strong, fake and weak front never lasts. Sometimes, I felt that I'm too much. Some days, I felt that I'm in the total wrong. Some hours, I felt that, hey, I need you back. Some hours, I'm thinking of the life you are enjoying. Some minutes, I wonder what you are doing. How are you doing, fine? Or is there any problems you've met upon with which banged you back onto the ground, needing a helping hand to pull you up. Often, I know I missed that chance again and I've, rarely thought of wanting to hate you. Thank God, I've forgotten you now. Phew, else I will kill myself, I mean I would rather kill myself then to be in your posts which makes fcuk senses.





Until today,
the hidden agendas all appeared in my very eyes. The tone and hatred you have in me, makes me think of the fact; have we been together before? Or we were enemies right from the start. The very cruel fact of missing the feel of holding hands and embraces, weren't you feeling it at all after the separation? Mr Lee Kuan Yew teared when Singapore parted with Malaya back then. Though it's caused by mostly the words which Tunku didn't manage to hold high with honour. Because he has feelings. Martin spewed shit vulgarities at me and my mother ( plus GST +++) just a month ago, yet we exchanged friendly 'hi's to each other. Where's your humanity? Don't give me a shock, don't make me think I've been with a ghost for a long 1 yr and 4 months.



If I were to be the one who posted like you about YOU , how the fcuk would you feel? I'm agonized and much agitated. Honestly I feel like returning you the slap you gave me months ago, I feel like I've been wasting my time on the wrong person, I feel like telling people, I have, never held hands with you before. I feel like staring at you with those eyes at me when you showed me inexplicable attitude. The selfishness in your blog, oh my. Unimaginable. Thank you anyway, I crave for you no more. Just this post to tell you, be bold but not blunt with your words, you just made my blood pressure shot up. FCUK.
















*stay by me. for a while.



Since you left me dead laid here ;
[3:39 AM]