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Monday, January 01, 2007

Staring hard at what was appearing right front, my fingers just couldn't find another collaborating space to hit, my upper body froze in that position, eyes hard on them, blinked a few tiny times while the rest goes to squeezes in my heart. It felt almost absent, almost stopped beating. I stoned and simply tried shaking these pouring sadness off me. What's silly was that useless attempt of deceiving and tell myself it's impossible.



It was worst than having my heart skipping a beat, it was worst than not having anything from the start. It is not having anything at the end. To think this is how Year 2oo7 starts. I need a walk. Never mind that, just don't question me and let me have my piece in this bordered( read : bothered ) space I supposedly and officially have control over. I just can't stop having the silly laughs to facade this despondency. But at the end of the day, I surrender. I can't be smiling all day long.





Shall I gently ask, how long did you take to find me this time ? I stood up great few months ago and brave swords on horses. I thought I pushed you to a dying end and there you were like thin,strong perfume evaporating into the mist that brushed in between us that fateful night? What is it that today, you pounced on me without adieu and make hail in front of you headstrong and unwilling? What is it which went wrong and revived your fearful presence, walking along the dark streets and people will just shun, making you stand amongst the crowd along and fearsome?






Do, what you want with me.



Since you left me dead laid here ;
[10:40 PM]