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Thursday, March 08, 2007

I don't believe in Love. Do you ? I believe that Providence loves making a fool out of us. Do you ? Dramas which show couples basking in the evening sunset rays, whispering the mushy , how much do you believe in that? For me, I don't think they ever exist. Do you ? To me, to love someone we have to sacrifice yes we do. But when I'm already the one who gives in so much, and don't mind the torture SHE says is coming up, SHE still doesn't gives a fcuking damn about it. I thought I've waited long enough, only to hear her and never meeting up before. I thought SHE knows time's shortening and I certainly deserve an affirmation or an answer to declare my long dream for near 6 months. Yes I did nothing, I merely waited. But it's as if my heart has been put the stake to this game and in the end, I still lost. I gained nothing, but only to name patience as one of my strengths maybe. I don't know why I lost, but I really played on the safe side. Maybe something clouded my vision just to know that SHE didn't place any bets at all before. It's a terrible feeling when the same person tells me " take good care of yourself ". That's something that's going to spark a nightmare. Seriously what causes the selfishness in her I look least forward too ? I really really really thought that SHE will somehow change, but damn it , I'm stupid to think like that.





Yes I'm the stupid one. For half a year I thought I was up to someone's appreciation and worth one's love. For a person like me who did none well in academic results and with a personality I think you won't want to know. I was blessed for six months , loved by and abandoned aftermath.







Now, I'm back to square one. But it's different this time - I don't fcuking believe in love.



Since you left me dead laid here ;
[10:24 PM]