Take a walk in any hawker centres in Singapore , take a close-up look on what the food hawkers use to wrap takeaways for food patrons. It's that dull brown paper sided with one slippery and one normal paper feel side.


I was still young that time when my auntie brought char kuey teow for me , who was sitting playfully on a chair obviously too high for my small size then , while in the plastic bag was only one fork for me as a medium to eat. I dragged the food close to the border of the brown wrapping paper and pushed it to the center and lifted it up with the teeth of my fork. For my next consecutive mouthfuls of char kuey teow I did exactly the same. Drag , push and lift. Drag and push ... " Aiyo , put your hand here " my uncle said holding my hand to place underneath the brown paper just by the border facing my body most. " Like this you can just push your fork to under the food and deliver them to your mouth, faster mah dui bu dui ? "



From then, I adopted that method of lifting food and delivering them to my mouth - if I only have a fork. But sadly, it isn't everyday when I'll be having meals wrapped in those brown papers and even I eat at hawker centres , I remember to ask for spoon and fork or chopsticks which I'm more familiar with. What Uncle taught me , slowly became just a part of my growing up to be smarter and soon forgotten. My uncle white-haired totally , with big eyebags caused by mild diabetes and pecks of lao ren ban on his face. Whenever he smiled , all I could see is his three decayed teeth which have already turned black. I miss him a lot, I always do - until that night last year when my mother came into my room whispering to me Uncle died in his sleep. I was stupid I was dumb. I skipped going to his funeral in M'sia thinking that whoever my girlfriend was that time will be lonely in Singapore and my friends here were too important to not even see them for a day ; just to see little of my uncle's funeral.






During CNY, I went to visit my auntie with guilt - immense guilt. For not paying an elder who doted on my so much , buying toys and taking good care of me while my parents were busy carving a future for me in Singapore. I saw his picture and incense burner highly placed above the cupboard facing the chair which allows him to lie and rest whenever he's home. I see the miserable look in my auntie's eyes which tells me much missing of my uncle. Their eldest child smokes and tattooed his arms , though working but still hanging out to meet friends during late night. Upon probing on where is he going , I know my auntie is telling him " when I go to join your Dad in the netherworld , please take good care of your siblings. " She is the most conservative auntie I have , wanting everything especially in terms of mannerism not to be neglected. I once placed my legs on the table when I was young and got ticked off by her. So imagine my cousin smoking just like his Dad and tattooing his arms , how did my auntie feel ? 'Nothing can be done - they are all grown-ups so long they have a good life from now and I can leave with ease.'







Gu zhang, I miss you.

I speak in deep ungracefulness and I'm not those geeky , cute , bea(it)chy boys you go after. I'm a dangerous game to play, and you won't have enough tears to pay.

Give me that

Burberry boxers
N95
Laptop bag
Wireless Mouse ( Bluetooth )
160 Gb portable HDD
MORE RAM
Windows Vista Home Ed
A photo taken with Kirsten Dunst

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